kalau boleh, aku tak mahu begini.

Originally posted on at livejournal Jun. 16th, 2008 at 12:40 PM

"Aku tak percaya.

After two and a half years, she said she has had enough. I would be lying if I said that I didn’t see this coming. Kadang-kadang aku rehearse moment-moment macam ni. Cuma aku tanak perkara ni jadi realiti. I don’t know how to handle this. Even though I rehearsed it time and time again in my head, I still don’t think that aku dapat terima kenyataan ini.

So far I’ve told 3 people.

Aku cuba buang jauh-jauh perasaan atau aku akan cuba deal with it as fast as a I can. Tapi gadis jangka lukis cakap," it takes you half the time you’ve been with someone to get over them". Fuck, adakah ini bermakna I have to go through emotional hell for a year plus?

Aku cuba menangis.

Aku baca message yang dia bagi pada rakan-rakan aku untuk buat surprise party. Gosh! What an asshole I turned out to be.

Aku baca, air mata aku mengalir.

Aku ambil emergency leave hari ini, dengan harapan aku dapat luangkan masa dengan dia. Try to work things out. I always thought that the rough patch was caused by us not seeing each other a lot. And it could be rectified by seeing each other again.
But that doesn’t seem to be the case anymore now, is it?

The good thing about time is that it heals.

And it also makes you forget."


Post break-up watch: Week 3

I miss her.

art by philip elliot